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Pseudo intro to the writing...
The following words i penned in two sessions immediately before the printing of the booklets for this record. I did this not to attempt some Keroauc-esque free formed trash, but rather to give you an accurate representation of myself. The way that i live life and conduct myself reflects my tendency to improvise and attempt to use an easy, quick, and topical approach to life. And allows me to avoid my perfectionist tendency. While this is mainly due to the fact that my job is being an improvisational comedian, it is also because i find that no matter how much planning i put into my endeavors something always goes wrong or changes my original idea. Therefore, it is easier to create and progress Rather than refining my output, i choose to create more, to move on. Quantity vs quality, or progress vs stagnation? Drop me a line, and let me know which it really is.
ISRAFEL
I think it is important for you to know what the record's title means...well go to the library and research it. Do you really expect all your thinking to be done for you? Try looking up books dealing with the subject of angels...maybe a dictionary or encyclopedia of angels. That is all the help you will get.
The hardcore scene has become terribly isolated, and despicably self-absorbed. It is sick that hardcore's only contact with the outside world has become benefits, where a few words on paper can make people aware of a cause or suffering they never heard of, nor took the time to investigate. It is inexcusable. While the mainstream media does a solid job of ignoring unpleasantries, there are still a number of sources, and stories even, that make it to the public eye. Recently, there has been a move to relocate the Dineh people, a southwestern native american tribe which has already been relocated once, to a new reservation (i.e., containment or prison). The new reservation is on top of highly radiated land stemming from a 1979 accident. Not only is the land polluted, but the streams and lakes, and consequently the food chain, are also contaminated. This information has appeared in both local papers and the New York Times recently. If we are ever to be truly activists or even if we are to make our own decisions and choices we must, as members of this American society, observe and challenge the norms in this society.
One step closer, i hear the angels calling my name. Beat my blessed heart into words that will never be said.
Have you ever wondered why grind and power violent bands continually use images of drug addicts, corpses, and torture for their records? I hope that you have, because if not that means that you have become desensitized to suffering. None of those pictures demonstrate the heaviness or brutality of the bands, simply the ignorance or insensitivity of the people in those bands. If hardcore is not about the music, or the sound quality, but the message, what message is sent by those images? Do Not support the bands and labels that use suffering as their sales tool. Use your judgement, and no matter how cool a band or label is, they are pathetic if they use these images on their shirts, records, or ads. Don't let your favorite band do your thinking for you, question the information they present you, the sincerity of their message, and the medium they use.
Honesty. Could we have a little bit? In day to day life, I am continually accosted by liars and thieves. Truthfully, if someone thinks I am an asshole I would like to know. If someone thinks I have wronged them, I would love to know. And when someone wrongs me, I tell them. Unfortunately, this system of honestly doesn't work to well, as it makes me look callous and missing tact. But at what point did insincerity replace tact?
Whether it is the nature of the benefit of this compilation, or simply the crushing effect that it has on my life, i find myself returning to the idea of my father's death. I think the reason for that is because my father's death signaled the moment i realized life. Only by seeing death did life become defined, and i realized the magnitude of existence. In fact, the horrible things that haooen ti ys are what defines our lives. The way the human mind works is that we must see the negative befiore we see the positive, Therefore death defines life, betrayal defines trust, hate defines love, depression defines elation, oppression defines freedom, and despicable people define true friends. Although it is hard to exist in this fashion, we are forced to, because we rarely learn from others mistakes, and must fail on our own before the lesson is learned. Perhaps we can learn from others, or perhaps we will not. However, recently I attended a lecture by Mikhail Gorbachev, who said during the speech, "Fools learn from their mistakes, wise men learn from the mistakes of others."
Sound quality should be secondary to the message, if a band has nothing to say, what defines them as a hardcore band rather than a mainstream band.
When I was a kid, no matter what responsibilities my father had, no matter how broke we were, he would always get up early on Saturday morning and take care of his errands so that he could spend the rest of the day with me. We would do anything i wanted to, play video games, race go karts, pitch a few, hit a garage sale and go play tennis with the racquets we just bought, or go fishing. My father died in 87, when i was 11. Ten years have passed since that moment and I still have trouble functioning. It is not the continual pounding resentment, or the tear wrenching sobbing into a pillow, but the mind numbing resolution to simply survive. The sickening fear that I will live life in vain, that drives me to be paralyzed by the fear of failure so that I never try, and fail by default. And regardless of how much i make myself face realize and do something, it is a struggle. So i find myself up later than i wanted, hating myself for being too lazy to get it together, and trying to get some errands done before the rest of the world is awake.
Has "emo" become a term for music that no longer contains a message, but has become a medium for drug addled generation Xers to share their angst through stream of conscience style lyrics, and abstract comparisons that mean as little to the singer as they do to you?
Activism, and hope are not enough. We must take responsibility on our shoulders if we are ever to bring social, political, or personal changes. We can't preach to each other, or even the community, it does no good. There is no reason to try to win their hearts and minds, we must only try to open their eyes. The most powerful impact we can ever have is by influencing the economic, political, or social structures. In order to accomplish change, we must work from within the system, and make our voice heard. Not by protests, not by militancy, and not by violence. But by flyers, pamphlets, and by becoming examples within the system. Therefore we must own our businesses, get involved in changing politics by participation, start our own information networks, and reach our with sincerity and courage to others, not with insults or force. Start a business, become a teacher, get into politics, but damn it, do something to change things rather than thinking your mouth and a display of force will ever do anything but make the status quo view you as a radical, off-base, threat.
Perhaps the overall theme of my Rousseau bleeds through my words and thoughts. But I believe that in ideal society mankind should not be governed, and should have control over their own destiny. But just like Rousseau I realize that this will never occur. So I still encourage and urge than we treat each other with dignity and respect, knowing it will not come, and that we can not handle the burden of self-government.
If I care to know about you politics whether it be Uhuru, animal rights, or the boycott of the week then i will take a pamphlet or ask you a question. however, if I don't come to you, I find you a thrift store dressed parody of the people you probably find so loathsomely, those people handing out religious tracts. People not handing the tracts out because they find them humorous, but because they find them prophetic.
In accordence with hardcore rule #567-C, I will include a "rant" against rape. Rape is bad. No shit. At what point can we avoid the obvious, that rape is wrong, and move on to topics that won't waste our time. No one argues that rape is a good, positive thing. With that said, we can shoot the pitiful what constitutes as rape? debate. This debate is ludicrous. Rape can occur between strangers, friends, or even lovers. The moment that sex is ANYTHING LESS THAN 100% CONSENSUAL, it is rape. How hard is that definition to understand? You could be in the middle of intercourse, but the moment someone says no, or no longer wants to be sharing a moment, it is over. No buts, no pleading, no anger, no intimidation, and no continuation, only respect for that person's wishes and ideas. There is not a middle ground. So could we stop having confessionals at fests, letters of protests, and pc debates about what is rape, and use our heads? Or do we have to continue debating that we really knew what our partners wanted? Or that the person had consented before? If we simply give a scrap of credibility to people's decisions we might just have less hurt people.
At what point did self-destruction become rebellion? If someone shuts down their body for a few hours to do drugs, or begins to pump their money into the pockets of tobacco and alcohol companies, are they still rebelling, or simply preparing themselves for the day when punk rock is shelved for an 8 hour workday, Budweiser, and television?
Last night, at about midnight, our next door neighbors began setting piles of dry leaves on fire in front of their house. As the blazes got higher they began spraying hairspray on the fire, and throwing toasts with their beers. After a short time watching this, elizabeth turned to me and said she was worried. So I looked up the number for the police and she placed a call to them. Less than 10 minutes passed before a fire truck turned the corner along with a police car and the neighbors had their front lawn hosed down. A little earlier than that, one of my neighbors and one of his tipsy party guests were making our on the lawn, while their friends clapped-(page appears to be cut off)-was a Saturday night, and the third day in a row that they had a party. While they had a party, I made peanut butter cookies. So while the fire department hosed their lawn, I felt guilty and wondered what I had done. They were just having fun, right? Well, I don't think so...I think they were being dangerous and stupid. But at the same time, why is it that people are afraid to confront people on their actions anymore? I didn't want to make a phone call, because I was afraid that our neighbors might know it was us, and they would do something to my roomates' cars or to our house. In the end, this is the same mentality that holds neighborhoods hostage to criminals, and prevents people from doing the right thing. I hope that I can avoid the culture that punishes whistleblowers, but sometimes you can't avoid things. At the same time, things might have been avoided if I would have took them some cookies and asked them not to burn their lawn. But I kinda doubt it, any idiot that would set fires in their front lawn wouldn't appreciate my cookies. Too bad, cause they were damn good.
Patriotism. While it might be due to the fact that I was born in the Midwest, I can't really spit on the American flag as much as the next hardcore kid. The flag has become an over used image in hardcore that has lost it's strength, and become another icon to a direction starved rebellion. While at one time there might have been power in tearing, burning, or otherwise defacing the flag, it's a relatively dead point. The political impact, the strength associated with the display is gone. In fact, it has even begun to offend me. It is a copout to attack the American flag, declaring it as a masthead for ignorance, sexism, violence, homophobia, oppression, and foreign intervention. The flag hasn't done anything. The people sworn to defend the flag have done something. The government has murdered; in the name of national defense, radiated children, conducted biological weapons research on it's citizens, covered scandals; not separated the (christian) church from the state; and ignored social ills. However, the flag is attacked, the flag denounced, and the flag is the recipient of anger and hatred. It makes no sense. The flag does not represent these values we find so contemptable, but rather stands as a symbol for solidarity, honesty, and independence. However, we have allowed it to be tainted and corrupted. And like sheep we have fallen into the same lie, believing that the wrongs the United States has wrought are symbolized by the flag, and that denial of of the flag acts as denial of those offenses. In fact, denial of the flag is nothing. it does not challenge what America has done, it is not an indictment of America's philosophies, but rather draws criticism to a smokescreen. Rather than face the question of the offenses America has dealt, the argument is lost in semantics, where corrupted politicians or the average "deceived" citizen can concern themselves with the flag not being represented correctly rather than the hideous things the government has done, and not been accountable for.
Gregg-Ape
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